I wouldn’t want to end my life as a vegetable and am now able to make legal arrangements to spare myself – and loved ones – this kind of suffering. I hope I will never find myself in the situation of becoming involved in an assisted suicide. But I’m relieved that new laws mean this can now be done at home without fear of prosecution, instead of travelling to a clinic in Switzerland.
The latest headlines on this very emotive topic reminded me of the most poignant 
story I have heard on this subject. One cannot image the helplessness and distress that the devoted husband of novelist and scholar Valerie Grosvenor Myer felt as he walked out of his house three miles from where I live to spend the day at Cambridge University Library, knowing that his sick wife was planning to take her own life, and that he had to leave her alone to die to avoid prosecution.
I remember reading Michael Grosvenor Myer’s very moving letter in The Times on November 26, 2008 which described their terrible ordeal, and I have republished it here.
Sir, My adored wife of half a century took an overdose last year. She was a distinguished woman — obituaries appeared in The Times (August 16, 2007) and other newspapers a few days later. But Parkinson’s disease had robbed her of the power of speaking articulately; her beautiful italic handwriting was nothing but a bitter memory; she kept falling over and injuring herself. She knew when she had degenerated as much as she was prepared to put up with.
Asked by some well-meaning doctors and nurses what I thought of it, after a previous, obviously unsuccessful, attempt — when I had to call for help because instead of dying as she wished she had gone into a coma, and I couldn’t cope with that — I replied to their apparent surprise that I thought she had behaved rationally and courageously. When one consultant threatened to section her I told him outright that was the remark of a fool and a bully.
When the day came, I agreed to invent an unnecessary day’s work at the university library so that she could get on with it. I don’t regret it: it was what she wanted. My regret is only that because of the idiocy of the present law, my precious only heart’s darling had to die a horrible, lonely death all alone here in the house instead of having me here to help and comfort her, which was what she wanted. People such as Baroness Finlay of Llandaff can make their own arrangements. The best I can wish them is that they might learn from experience what it feels like.
Michael Grosvenor Myer
My regret is that I never met this very talented and courageous woman who lived so close to me.
My preferred method of killing myself, which I pray that I will never have to do, would be to shoot myself. It is instantaneous, you can say good bye to your loved ones, and then its all over.
Yet a man who recently helped his father in this manner wasn’t charged with aiding suicide, but with a string of firearms offences and sent to prison. So if they don’t get you one way, they can get you another; for example, what about the illegal possession of drugs in a drug related death?
I don’t know why most people assume that when folk do unpleasant things they have a mental illness or incapacity. Most often they don’t. People make choices. I’m so sorry that the law could not allow this caring man to be with his wife as she died. That must have been horrible for her. But I can see why the law is so; not all are as caring and the vulnerable have to be protected by the state. The trouble is that when people choose suicide it is often that there is no hope in life. There is pain in life and you cannot bear to live one more day. I’ve felt that myself. I wasn’t insane I was just in pain. I didn’t WANT to die I was just having real difficulty living another day in the life I had – full of pain with no hope of change. Luckily for me there was change.
I hope Ellee will forgive me for posting this joke:
Last night, my husband and I were sitting in the living room and I said to him, ‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
So he got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
He’s such a bastard……
This joke tells me to live life while we can. To chase laughter and love much. One day, perhaps through illness or injury, we might not be able to bear it one more day.
Ellee I have such sympathy for people in this situation. It is so wrong that the man’s wife had to die alone. I suspect that in his place I might have stayed defiantly by her side. I would be really surprised it they had attempted to prosecute him but I would be willing to face that chance I think in his shoes.
Suicide is not the best solution in any aspect of our life. It gave you nothing but…death. Sometimes we need to be stronger a little bit to face any problems we have.
And where that strength come from? From God and from people around us, in this case her husband should become someone who encourage Valerie.
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I think it is the most difficult situation when someone has to kill himself.But i also want to say that suicide is not the last step to get rid of your problems.