James has been given an after school detention for playing snowballs at school. Admittedly, he had been asked not to, and 10 minutes later was found still doing so.
I was informed about this in a letter which James brought home 
from school just before half-term break 10 days ago. Because we live outside the school catchment area and pay for a private bus company, I wrote to the school explaining I could not collect James from school on the day he had been assigned his detention due to work commitments.
A very frosty deputy head phoned me yesterday and said that James had deliberately defied him, and imagine if 1300 kids had been playing snowballs at the same time. You can’t win an argument against someone like that.
We agreed on two lunchtime detentions instead starting today, but James has a rehearsal for a school production of The Mikado then, and after school rehearsals as well. He also spent his Sunday afternoon at the school practising for this show.
The teacher was not interested when I explained that James might have other commitments, he was determined that his punishment should come first. He also told me that if James was given another after school det, I could fork out for a taxi to bring him home from school if I could not collect him. That was after I explained that my work took me all over the place and hey, we are in a recession, I pointed out, we can’t just drop our clients and work at the drop of a hat.
I am quite happy to support James’ after school commitments and collect him when necessary, but I wrote to the school last night and explained that I felt the punishment was not appropriate in this case. An after school detention is meant to be for really bad behaviour and it seemed over the top.
The night before this snowballing incident happened when the snow fell thick and fast, James’ friends came round and invited him to go out. He refused, saying he had some school course work to finish. He sat up till 10.30pm finishing his project. I explained this to his teacher, but it fell on deaf ears.
There was no deliberate intention to be defiant. James was just having fun. I doubt James will win, though he says he will apologise to the teacher today.
And I thought school days were meant to be the happiest days of your life….
It clearly wasn’t the playing of snowballs but the defiance of an order not to do it.
A whole school of kids snowball fighting ? Imagine it. It would be … pure heaven !
Health and safety has gone mad obviously. But let’s be clear who is to blame here: it’s not the Health & Safety officials, nor is it the teachers or the Head – it’s the avaricious no-win-no-fee lawyers and the politicians who allowed them into this country (Tories if my memory serves me rightly)
These lawyers are so powerful and enriched that they can afford to clog up prime TV with commercials. They’ve sucked the life and character out of Britain.
Hi Kevin, yes you are right re the teacher’s view and James’ defiance, but it was just high spirits, and I think defiance is a strong word in this case.
Wouldn’t the kids have just loved it if the teachers had joined in. They could have had fun with those they liked and pelted those they didn’t.
I hope you and your family are well.
Shame that kids cant enjoy a good football fight now – I know it was teh defiance, but even so – seems to be taking it a bit far…
Flowerpot, I think you mean snowball fight, not football, that is something I would not tolerate!
Pity you couldn’t have suggested making him write out lines at home for the HM instead eg 4 of his favourite pieces from English literature. Or you could have offered to flog him yourself but that’s probably not allowed these days?
The happiest days of you life? Only in retrospect – they can be hell while you’re living them! Poor James can’t win.
You have my deepest sympathy, Ellee. I support your stance completely. But you have the added benefit of a husband – can he not step in put his foot down? Squashing this demonstration of authority by tellng the teacher he’s had a word but sorry he can’t be collected late and that’s that.
Why can’t he just be allowed to say sorry ?
Ive been in this postion too, many many times….in the end its hard to win when our children are not doing as they are told….and i suppose we would be the first to complain if we thought our children was not being taught right from wrong.. and what kind of examlpe would it set to the other kids if he was seen not to be punished for his defiance. A lunch time detention should of been enough of a punishment
This is a very familiar story and reminds me of my school days quite a lot as I was often the recipient of unusually harsh punishments in spite of the fact I was usually good, hardworking and never harmed a soul. This is about the ego of the teacher and nothing more.
I was often the recipient of unusually harsh punishments in spite of the fact I was usually good, hardworking and never harmed a soul.
With you there, Wolfie. In fact I found they rather resented bright kids who asked genuine questions.
>very frosty
Love it ! A snowman indeed.
>imagine if 1300 kids had been playing snowballs at the same time.
As your other commenter said – it would be excellent.
This is just pure helicopter parenting – as Sally so rightly says, if a child is not doing what he is told then he should be punished. Teachers are constantly criticized for not using discipline enough, and yet when its ones own little darlings parents suddenly seem to develop a blind spot. Its very understandable that parents feel this way, but schoolroom discipline has to be applied across the board – teachers have a hard enough job to do without this sort of special pleading. So he stayed up doing his coursework? Great – but thats not exceptional, its what he should be doing!
I am so glad I am not at school these days. To many excessive rules and monitoring. Teachers either don’t or can’t show common sense.
As a former secondary school head of department, I would side with the school in this case. Snowballing can cause havoc in a playground and Britain is a litigious society. If you give a detention as a punishment, it has to be done at the teacher’s convenience because they have so many meetings at lunchtimes and after school. And we do have a right to a lunchtime – I can remember going on strike for that. Parents who said, “Can’t he do his detention at lunchtime?” used to make me angry. My reaction was: “Let me get this straight. Your son / daughter has misbehaved and now I have to lose MY lunchtime?!” Sorry, Ellee!
I still don’t think it warranted an after school det, maybe a lunchtime det. In fact, James has ended up with two lunchtime detentions in place of an after school. I believe the school should be able to deal with discipline in school hours on a trivial matter like this.