Congratulations to David Miliband and his wife on the adoption 
of their second son Jacob. The Foreign Secretary’s flying visit to the States clashed with an important Saudi state visit – but he has put family first and still taken his paternity leave.
I wonder what the Saudi guests make of our Foreign Secretary’s paternity leave, I don’t suppose it happens in their country.
Miliband and his wife Louise, a violinist, are already the adoptive parents of a two-year-old, Isaac, who was born in the US. They missed the birth of Jacob, who was born prematurely, but were able to watch Isaac’s birth.
Having a new baby is obviously a moment of great job. But it’s natural that anyone should question if the Miliband’s were given preferential treatment. In both cases, David Miliband has refused to give details of the agency he used for the adoptions, or explain why they didn’t adopt from the UK.
As a 42-year-old, the Foreign Secretary would have faced difficulties adopting in Britain. According to the surrogacy agency, Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy, couples over the age of 35 are often not considered as suitable adoptive parents.
The agency said babies were more likely to be placed with younger couples who would give them the longest, happiest life, forcing others to turn to surrogacy and adopting abroad. Forty-two doesn’t seem too old to me to adopt, especially as many couples today are having families in their 30s and 40s. It’s not a parent’s age that I consider the most important issue, but whether they can spend time with them, that’s what a child values the most, I hope the Foreign Secretary can somehow juggle that with his ministerial responsibilities. I think he will want to.
Adoption is a hugely emotive subject, especially for desperate childless couples. That’s why the Milibands need to be transparent about their adoptions. Do you remember how Welsh couple, Alan and Judith Kilshaw, tried to adopt twins from America through the internet. The couple paid thousands of pounds for the babies but lost the right to keep them. It led to international adoption being tightened in 2001.
I wonder if David Miliband will offer to get up and share the night feeds, the most exhausting part of new parenthood. Funnily enough, my husband conveniently never heard those 2am cries from our two babies. Or the 5pm demand for more milk.
The Question is….
Was Miliband absence a snub to the Saudi’s due to the spat over terrorism, BAE, human rights etc?
This visit is probably the most important task Miliband has had since taking office.
Hmmmmmm
[…] Eduardo Avila wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptThe agency said babies were more likely to be placed with younger couples who would give them the longest, happiest life, forcing others to turn to surrogacy and adopting abroad. Forty-two doesn’t seem too old to me to adopt, … […]
John, This Saudi visit is of huge significance, I doubt it was a snub, just Miliband’s genuine desire to embrace his new baby into the family – unfortunate timeing. At least the Queen was able to meet the Saudi entourage.
I won’t comment on the political ramifications of this but it is great to see how young fathers (and he is young) are so much more involved than in former times. Although I must say my husband was too for we had no family here.
lol Elle,
The Foreign Secretary has been using a surrogate mother in the states. That does take subterfuge & undercover work to a whole new level.
And he gets ‘paternity’ leave to be there at the birth. I wonder if the Saudi King will leave him a lift.
PS – What do you mean Saudi’s don’t get paternity leave?
I thought it was women didn’t get paid holidays
And the royal families in Saudi & Kuwait can rest assured of continued military support from the US & Britain (until the oil runs out).
It’s not a parent’s age that I consider the most important issue, but whether they can spend time with them, that’s what a child values the most …
To a point, Ellee but the type of time spent also comes into it and in later life, it’s of a different nature, e.g. playing football with the boy and so on.
This is a subject we’ve heard nothing of in the papers. It should have been mentioned more.
I was adopted myself, Ellee. Adoption agencies have to be very careful and must have the best interests of the child at heart. The age thing may seem silly these days, but any child up for adoption has already been through trauma. The agencies have to try to ensure that another trauma is not just around the corner. I wish the Millibands all the best and think he has been courageous in taking this decision.
I think these rules of age around adoption ridiculous – I had my youngest child aged 40 but my aunt had her first aged 46. The saddest thing I think with adoption in the UK is the pressure on perfectly good parents going through a difficult time from the social services who apparently need to fill adoption quotas – what’s all that about?? What on Earth is an adoption quota?
neither did I ellee and I have 4 kids…. went to work 7 days a week though ;o)
I think UK adoption laws are far too strict. Are there immigration restrictions on adopting from overseas?
[…] Milipede adoption: more Labour double standards 31 10 2007 Reading Ellie Seymour’s post on Milipede’s adoption, I thought to myself, here’s more Labour double standards. It was also a convenient excuse for Milipede to absent himself from the visit of Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah. Is Milipede really Prime Ministerial material when, as Foreign Secretary, he can’t even be bothered to attend an important function, but would rather fly off to America to adopt another child? […]
It is time for root and branch reform of not only the care system, but in particular the polically correct adoption system. Meanwhile, Government Ministers such as Milipede will continue their rank hypocrisy and avoid the system where possible.
I don’t suppose it matters if Mr Miliband is there or not – either the paternity leave OR the State visit.
But seriously. Never heard anything like it in my life – he’s not manly is he. Is that attractive ? Or right even ? One day we’ll rue emasculating all our males – the effects of which we can see in our woeful criminal justice system – this will soon be followed by the confident and assertive actions of the males of India and China who will be able to whip our effeminate little arses.
“Funnily enough, my husband conveniently never heard those 2am cries from our two babies. Or the 5pm demand for more milk.”
Neither did I. But then I [and I presume your husband] do not have the biological equipment to deliver!