I don’t see how family life is going to change in the UK. I am 
referring to the disturbing report on modern childhood which describes children’s lives as being blighted by obsessive testing, relentless advertising and a long-hours culture that contributes to family breakdown.
We should take note of this two year study, commissioned by The Children’s Society, because it includes submissions of thousands of children.
But I don’t think British parents are as heartless as this report would have us believe. I think the difficulties have been caused by the way our society and economy has evolved over the last generation.
Soaring house prices has meant that the only way families can have a roof over their head is if the mother works too, yet the report states that mothers going out to work contribute to family break up. Our present economic crisis will considerably increase the financial burden and stress on hard working families, especially if they are faced with redundancy. What chance of domestic happiness is there then?
As a nation, we are not renowned for our tolerance and love of children. Kids are now becoming more welcome in restaurants, but the view is that they must behave well, they must be seen and not heard.
When I hear adults complain about children, I point out to them that as adults are not perfectly behaved, why do we expect children to behave this way? It makes no sense to me.
And just to make British women feel better about themselves, our European counterparts have come in for some stick too, including the French Justice Minister Rachida Dati who returned to work five days after giving birth – bonding with her infant daughter came second – and Spain is actively encouraging mothers to return to work. The big difference there is that a large proportion of children are looked after by grandparents, which is not the case here. We sadly lack that close-knit family bond.
At the end of a working day, a mum only has so much energy and love to give her offspring. I don’t think obsessive testing or relentless advertising are the main issues regarding children and their happiness. I think it comes down to kids wanting a parent to listen to them, play together and enjoy their company.
And that costs nothing, just time…
I agree, Ellee and all too often, the result of lack of family unity and discipline is the star of my last post on my blog.
Sadly, Ellee, innocence is eroded at an early age with what is around us.
Yes, sadly I agree…
Unfortunately the French Justice Minister got sacked by Sarkozy on Sunday.
An explanation was hard to find. Rumours persist about who the father of her child is….
I wouldn’t mind being an Italian kid! I wouldn’t judge the French Minister as harshly as that. Sbe has an important government job and she is doing it, not abandoning it for however long the maternity leave is and expecting others to manage. Maybe she has her own way of bonding with her child.
Yes I agree entirely Ellee. It seems that the government want to run everything by govt directives nowadays – including parenting.
Hm. Some interesting comments on a similar thread on DK’s blog, here: http://devilskitchen.me.uk/2009/02/back-to-kitchen-bitches.html
One that should be mentioned is the reason behind the push for women to return to the kitchen – could it be to release jobs for the boys or at least bring the unemployment stats down? And the author of that post raises a very good point – if the lot of women is to be compared with 1909 then why not the lot of children? How happy were they then, working down a mine??
The main point in my opinion is: I too cannot remember my mother, in the golden age of parenting, spending more time than she absolutely had to with me. She worked. Her mother worked. Her mother worked. My other grandmother made chain! When was this golden age of parenting? A ‘bonding’ myth. We were happy children because we were left alone to roam wherever we wanted without being run over by traffic, molested or carted off to some childrens home ‘for our own good’. When we weren’t happy we got a good hiding and told to be grateful.
I had to laugh (cry?) when I heard that the report had identified the premature sexualisation of children as a cause for concern and concluded more sex education was needed.
Not that the comments here aren’t interesting, I just thought the other comments interesting too. I try to quote my sources, usually, and noticed that others had the same experience as me – their mothers worked in this supposed golden age of parenting. Perhaps it depends on class and the people writing the report’s own agenda. Perhaps they would make the same conclusions whatever people said. After all, concluding that children need more sex ed after finding that premature sexualisation is a problem is pretty bizarre.
“Soaring house prices has meant that the only way families can have a roof over their head is if the mother works too,”
This phenomenon is presented the wrong way round here. Working mums – one of the factors which inflated house prices when the banks lifted the limits on lending multiples.
We have such a terrible work/life ballance in this country largely because they made men and women compete directly against each other.
Go to any country that you love, for it’s air of romance, its inclusion of children and the elderly … where you relax and unwind with a glass of wine and ask “Why isn’t it like this in Britain ?”
Female emancipation ?
The biggest con ever foisted upon British women.
And when was the last time you took your young children to a bistro in Britain and the chef came out to greet them with open arms and a hug ?
Happens a lot in Greece.
Kevin, I agree with what you say about kids being welcome with open arms in restaurants, and how grandparents and elderly people should be warmly loved and respected. I hope they are to an extent, but not enough, I fear.