Whatever the outcome of today’s debate and vote on whether to cut the 24-week upper limit for abortions to 20 weeks or less, what’s clear is that it is an emotive subject that traumatises men too.

During a radio discussion on abortions this morning, when men were invited to describe how it had affected them, they spoke with emotion about the grief and loss they felt.

However many weeks a pregnancy is terminated at, the choice to abort can haunt those involved for the rest of their lives. For some, it never leaves their minds, they remain guilt ridden and think about it constantly, wondering what he would be doing now had he been allowed to live. It remains a cross that they carry for ever. It was a very moving debate.

Abortions are carried out for many reasons, and some we can sympathise with more than others, ie those who use it as a form of contraception. But I did feel for the men who say they had no choice in the matter, that they are devastated by the loss of their unborn child. It will always be the woman’s choice though, the final decision will always rest with her as she is the carrier.

So what is the answer to this? And how do women feel who have had an abortion? Do they get the counselling they need? How many of them later regret it? This is one woman’s experience posted on Victoria Derbyshire’s blog which could typify how many others feel:

I chose to have a termination a few years ago now. At the time i felt the decision was right – or at least i thought i did. As time has passed i have actually found it more difficult to deal with the decision i made. Whilst i still think i would have found it difficult to cope had i have chosen to go through with the pregnancy, sometimes i think living with the guilt is a lot harder. Its difficult to talk to anyone about the decision because really, what can people say? I made the choice at the end of the day, whilst other people had their opinions, ultimatley it was me that went through with it. Termination is not a decision to be taken lightly, if i could go back i know i wouldn’t have made the decision i did, however thats just me, everyone is different and a women should still have the right to chose.