With the Chancellor Alastair Darling warning Gordon Brown that his Ministers are losing “the will to live” in the run-up to the election and acting like a football team with their heads down well before the final whistle, who better to turn to for tactical advice than the luscious Nancy Dell ’Olio.

Mind you, the former flame of England’s football manager, Sven Ericksson, didn’t win her personal match with the Swede, who repeatedly cheated on her.

Nancy describes her affection for the Labour Party – and in particularly Peter Mandelson – in this Mail on Sunday article, stating that she is “in love” with him, and that “if a crocodile were to eat Gordon Brown in Brighton this week,” Mandelson should be the next Prime Minister.

Nancy, I don’t think there are any crocodiles in Brighton. But tell Gordon to watch out for the piranhas!! There might be plenty about.